| Positive
affirmation For Personal Growth And Self Improvement
By Thomas D. Yarnell, Ph.D. Clinical Psychologist
An affirmation is a statement that you make to yourself.
Everyone uses them intentionally or unintentionally. You
wake up in the morning, jump out of bed and exclaim "I
feel great". That is a positive affirmation. You
drag yourself out of bed in the morning and whimper "I
feel rotten". That is a negative affirmation. Both
statements help to maintain the emotional state you are
in.
Our
self-talk, the things we say to ourself, is very important
because it directly effects our conscious and subconscious
mind. We listen to everything we say to ourself.
Because
our affirmation work so well to maintain the state of
mind we are in, we can use them to change that state of
mind. True, it takes more work to change how we think
and feel, but, if you follow these guidelines, the use
of affirmation can become a strong, useful tool for helping
yourself become happier and healthier.
Here
are the four basic guidelines for developing good affirmation:
** The first guideline is that the affirmation should
be stated in the present tense. Start with words like
"I am ... " or "I have ... ". You
want to be telling your mind that it is taking place now.
**
Next, the affirmation should relate that what you want
is already accomplished. "I am happy now" is
superior to and will work better than "I am becoming
happy" or "I will be happy".
**
The affirmation should be positive. " I feel safe"
works but the affirmation " I am not scared"
does the opposite of what you want. It focuses your mind
on the word "scared" and increases that feeling.
It is as if the word "not" didn't even exist.
The
affirmation should be in your style of language. I found
the following affirmation on a calendar. "Energy,
enthusiasm, and sparkling health are my birthright. I
accept these priceless treasures with gratitude, knowing
that as I give out energy, more rushes in."
This
is a very poetic affirmation and I totally agree with
the basic sentiment and philosophy in it. The problem
is that I do not speak or think in this way. My mind would
have difficulty accepting this affirmation because it
just doesn't sound like me. If, however, it is the way
you think, by all means use it.
If
I wanted to use this affirmation I would change it into
my words. "I deserve to have energy, enthusiasm and
good health. I accept all of life's gifts. The more energy
I use, the more I will have." This is more like the
way I speak and think.
What
should my affirmation be about?
Your affirmation can include how you would like to feel:
"I am energetic; I feel wonderful; or I feel safe".
Your affirmation can include how you would like your life
to be: "I am a prosperous person; I attract positive
people into my life; I lose weight easily or I solve problems
easily". Another way to develop affirmation is to
use them to counter your negative self-talk. When you
catch yourself saying something negative to yourself,
develop an affirmation that counteracts the negative thought
and start using it until you feel differently about yourself.
Let's
say you are working on a project. The project doesn't
have to be a work project, it can be an interpersonal
problems or just some personal problem you are trying
to solve. You can't seem to figure out what to do or you
run into a snag of some sort. All of a sudden your confidence
sags and you catch yourself thinking "I can't do
this. I bit off more than I can do. I'm just not smart
enough."
All
this negative thinking, if allowed to persist, will guarantee
that you fail. Instead, make up some affirmation to counter
this thinking. For example, you might use "I feel
confident, I am a success, I do things now and I think
clearly". I would repeat each affirmation five times
three or four times during the day until I felt better
about myself and about completing the project.
affirmation
have been used since humans have had language. We use
affirmation now to help us lose weight and stop smoking.
We use affirmation to build our self-confidence and self-esteem.
We use affirmation to help us get out of depression and
to relieve our anger. We use them to control our fear
and anxiety and for stress management. affirmation are
used successfully in all areas of personal growth and
self improvement.
Once
you have your affirmation, there are a number of ways
you can use them. When repeating the affirmation, put
some feeling into it and think about what you are trying
to accomplish. Repeating the affirmation out loud is better
than doing it silently as you also hear it when it's out
loud. If you are in a situation where you can't repeat
it out loud, do it silently. That is still better than
not doing it at all.
Do
your affirmation soon after you wake up as it will help
focus your day. Do your affirmation just before going
to sleep as it will be working in your subconscious mind
all night. You should also try to fit in your affirmation
two or three more times during the day. When you fit them
in isn't important as long as they are spaced out during
the day. This takes advantage of two important principles
in psychology.
How
do I use my affirmation?
Sample affirmation
Here are some examples of good personal growth and self
improvement affirmation.
*
To lose weight: I am slim and trim; I only eat when I'm
hungry.
*
To stop smoking: I breathe clean, fresh air; I am stronger
than any habit.
*
For depression: I am a worthwhile person; I attract joy
into my life.
*
For anger: I feel wonderful today; I have peace of mind.
*
For fear and anxiety: I release all my negative emotions;
I am confident.
*
For stress management: All the above.
Our
mind learns fastest with what is called "massed practice".
Repeating the same affirmation five times in a row is
"massed practice". The problem is that it also
produces quick forgetting. "Spaced practice",
the process of repeating all the affirmation three or
more times during the day, produces slow learning and
slow forgetting. Combining both "massed and spaced"
practice gives us the best of both: fast learning and
slow forgetting.
Saying
it with feeling adds another psychological dimension to
the affirmation. Any thought that has an emotion attached
to it will have a greater impact on our mind than an idea
devoid of feeling.
Another
variation you can use to strengthen the effect of the
affirmation is to add a visualization to it. This will
make your affirmation significantly more effective. Do
this by taking one of your affirmation sessions and instead
of saying the affirmation, close your eyes and visualize
yourself doing or being like the affirmation says. The
visualization adds another dimension of power to your
affirmation.
You
should also use your affirmation whenever you catch yourself
using negative self-talk. Start repeating your positive
affirmation as soon as possible.
Used
correctly, affirmation for personal growth and self improvement
can help you relieve your depression, anxiety and fear
and anger. They can help you lose weight as well as quit
smoking. affirmation will help you build your self-confidence,
self-esteem and assertiveness and they are an excellent
tool for stress management.
Patience
(Perseverance)
One problem many people have is impatience. They use their
affirmation on and off for a week or two and nothing happens
so they quit. It took us a long time to become the way
we are. Give your affirmation at least a serious 30 day
try. If what you are trying to change is a serious problem,
you will probably need more than 30 days. You might even
need more than affirmation to produce the changes you
seek.
affirmation
are just one of the tools of change. Most of us will need
more than one tool and longer than one month. Used correctly,
however, affirmation are a good tool and they do help
us change, grow and heal. As you use your affirmation
you will become more conscious of your thoughts, feelings
and behaviour and you will start thinking and feeling
better about yourself. As this happens, your behaviour
will begin to change in the direction you are trying to
go. Don't give up because you are gaining greater and
greater control of your thoughts, feelings and behaviour.
By
Thomas D. Yarnell, Ph.D. Clinical Psychologist
|
